i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
