What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
