He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
