We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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