Dual....:-)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
