She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
