How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
