Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
