i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
