Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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