He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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