I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
