I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
