i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize