No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
