I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
