I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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