Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
