Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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