If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
