listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
