Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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