your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
