____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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