apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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