She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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