so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
