I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
