PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
