so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize