I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
