So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
