if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
