When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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