hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When are your genitals available?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
