i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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