Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize