And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
BRING THE BAGELS
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
