This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
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