just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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