He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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