time to smoke my breakfast
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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