If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
