Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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