we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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