my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
