I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
