i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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