Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
