Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
