And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
