He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
