He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
