note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
