nut hugger
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
