At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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