Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
