She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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