My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
