Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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