You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
