I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
