The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
